It's that time of the year again - my birthday (July 24th to be exact)! As I grow older, the way I feel about my birthday has become a bit of a rollercoaster ride. As I get deeper into midlife, my emotions about getting older have become more complex and my thoughts on how to celebrate have shifted. Instead of embracing the wisdom that accompanies age, and appreciating each passing year, I find myself unsettled, asking more questions, and frankly, finding it more challenging to be grateful. I think my biggest lesson right now is to let go of the “supposed to” aspects of getting older, and recognizing that even aging belongs to me, and there isn’t an expectation I need to meet.
I have never really placed a lot of importance on celebrating my birthday, and this is something I often think about. Do I prefer to take it easy, spend some time alone, and reflect on the past year, or would I like to go all out and have a more elaborate celebration? The truth is, I have never had the financial resources to do much, and I think this has made me embrace a minimalist approach to my birthday celebrations. When you do something for a long time, it becomes a part of who you are.
That said I, do always love when loved ones take the time to make sure my birthday is special. Most of the birthdays I remember being celebratory were due to the efforts of an incredibly few number of people who made extra effort against all odds - sometimes against their own material or emotional challenges - to ensure that I had at least one day that felt like it was just about me.
I also think that over the years how we celebrate our birthdays is reflective of how we see ourselves in the world. And this becomes more true as we get older. For some, birthdays can be a time to try something new and push themselves out of their comfort zone. For others, it can be an opportunity to revel in what they know they excel at, or simply enjoy who they are today without judgment.
This year will be no different from before. I’ll still honor my birthday with some alone time, reflecting on what has come before and setting intentions for what lies ahead. But regardless of whether I celebrate with others or not, in whatever way feels most comfortable for me - that’s ok too! Acknowledging my place in the world is enough for me right now, and knowing that each birthday is just a little bit different than the last is both comforting and reassuring in its own way.
